Had another amazing Yogaholics Anonymous class yesterday! The group was enthusiastic, willing and strong! Hope to see more yogis and non-yogis alike at our next meeting. It is always such a pleasure to teach, especially when I’m having a hard week, as I am currently.

My grandmother passed away a few weeks ago, and I can’t help but feel overwhelmed by grief as I reflect over the kind of woman she was and how she has influenced me in countless ways. During her memorial service, my dad shared in his eulogy how often she would approach strangers and strike up conversations, unafraid of the unknown. Friends of mine have frequently poked fun at me for doing the same thing, a quality I always attributed to my dad, but during his reflection, he realized he acquired that behavior from his own mother.

After the service, our large family met at my aunt’s house to continue reflecting and celebrating my amazing grandmother and the ways she taught us to be unapologetically ourselves. At one point, my uncle began sharing with me how much of his mother he sees in me; in my desire to love the unlovable, the unseen. Even now, it’s difficult to think about it without tears charging down my face. For such a long time, I’ve equated the size of my heart and willingness to trust as a point of weakness or vulnerability. But if the quality was found in my grandma, I doubt it could be described as anything other than strength. I’m endlessly thankful to be even slightly as strong as my grandma.

While teaching class yesterday, I kept being reminded of how I need to keep my heart open, because that’s what she would do. It’s easy to build walls around yourself, especially when encountering pain, grief, rejection, and the like, We get caught up in comparison, anger, jealousy; we lash out at those who deserve none of the swirling negativity in our minds.

A few days ago, while meditating,  I pulled out a piece of paper                                                                       from my meditation jar (glass jar filled with strips of                                                                                     paper noting mantras, important quotes, etc)                                                                                                     and was thankful to see the following: “We change by finding

equanimity and learning to relax right in the middle of conflict-

filled moments.” This came from 40 Days to Personal Revolution,

written by Baron Baptiste.

(Side note: if you are interested in  deepening your yoga practice,

Baron Baptiste has several books that would be perfect to help you along the way!)

While finding equanimity is much easier said than done, I’m taking this time of mourning, reflection, and even pure chaos to learn how to relax. To let things be as they are, to relinquish the control I only pretend to have anyway. And, taking another line from 40 Days, Be Still and Know. Sometimes sitting back and just accepting life the way it is will be better than fighting for it to change. Struggling isn’t always worth it. Instead, see the beauty the surrounds you and the countless ways you’ve been blessed, and move forward, simply being unapologetically you. Demonstrate love, for which there is no boundary. Seek the unseen. Love the unlovable.

Thank you for taking the time to peruse my rambles. You are a blessing to me, whether or not we’ve met yet. I would love to hear from you, so shoot me an email at jennamasteyoga@gmail.com and let me know if you have any questions about meditation, yoga, or simply want to connect! Namaste, cherished one.